I have heard that you know you've got good compost when you can get the pile to steam. Well I am hoping for that. Just a little steam would be nice. Really I am just hoping that everything I throw into the bin breaks down into that fertile "black gold".

What excites me the most about this bin I made is that the only thing I had to buy was a box of wood strews. Everything else I found. I still need to put a lid on it though.

the front balcony i have been patiently waiting all winter to inhabit is now more inviting than ever.

a book i have been inching my way though is opened in front of me.

spiced tea is slowly cooling down in a blue ceramic mug given to me by my parents.

the helm of a ship is imprinted on it.

the sun is low but rising.

and i can feel its warmth on my back, but my fingers are still a little cold.

it reminds me of mornings it florida.

the cool nights melting away under the rising sun.

you can just tell its going to be a beautiful day.

have you ever heard someone say that god is not a vending machine? i have. several times. while i'm sure there are great benefits to teaching/preaching that sort of analogy i've noticed that sometimes when i pray i get a guilty feeling when i think i am asking too much. is it really possible to ask too much of god? i've started to wonder about this when i listen to my wife pray. she's pretty amazing by the way. you see, she believes that god cares about the little odd details of our lives. she believes he cares about getting a good grade on a test, getting a date, or scoring a goal in the big game just as much as helping people in haiti or freeing slaves in the sex trade. so when i am feeling like i am asking too much she is busy asking. and its beautiful. freeing. she has taught me that god does not grow weary of us or is limited in what he can accomplish. to her god is fully involved in our lives and is the one she can fully trust to accomplish anything. so she asks. like a simple conversation. she just asks. she knows in whom she believes so she asks. i love it. some days i feel like my prayers are so formulaic. first you adore, then confess, then thank, and then there's the supplication. in that order respectively. but with her there is no formula. it just a friendship. no analogy or acronym. she just talks with god. i want to do the same.

almost twenty years have passed but i still just can't help feeling proud of the new ride.


2010, age 28.


1991, age 10.