When the warrior embraced me...
"It was long ago, I remember it still, that i was hewn down at the wood's edge, taken from my stump. Strong foes seized me there, hewed me to the shape they wished to see, commanded me to lift their criminals. Men carried me on their shoulders, then set me on a hill; foes enough fastened me there. Then i saw the Lord of mankind hasten with stout heart, for he would climb upon me. I dared not bow or break against God's word when i saw earth's surface tremble. I might have felled all foes, but I stood fast. Then the young Hero stripped himself, that was God Almighty, strong and stouthearted. He climbed on the high gallows, bold in the sight of many, when he would free mankind. I trembled when the Warrior embraced me, yet I dared not bow to earth, fall to the ground's surface; but I must stand fast. I was raised up, a cross; I lifted up the Mighty King, Lord of Heavens: I dared not bend. They pierced me with dark nails; the wounds are seen on me, open gashes of hatred. Nor did i dare harm any of them. They mocked us both together. I was all wet with blood, drenched from the side of that man after he had sent forth His spirit. I had endured many bitter happenings on that hill. i saw the God of Hosts cruelly racked. The shades of night had covered the Ruler's body with their mists, the bright splendor. Shadow came forth, dark beneath the clouds. All creation wept, bewailed the King's fall; Christ was on Cross.
this piece of text comes from an old english poem called The Dream of the Rood. the author is unknown. the story is anthropomorphic written in the perspective of the cross. what grabbed my attention was when the Cross says, "i trembled when the Warrior embraced me." In the same sentence the author not only reveals Christ's compassion but also calls Him Warrior. A characteristic the Jews wanted and something i think the modern christian often neglects. when espn was broadcasting out of iraq a few weeks ago the general of the army would greet the soldiers by saying, "good morning, warriors." what if our pastors greeted us the same way?
Saturday, October 23, 2004
there were times in my life when friday night was guaranteed to be a night out hanging with friends. not having plans could possibly move you down to the "uncool" level in the social hierarchy. that was important to me in high school. and even a couple years into college. but now i'm totally ok with spending a friday night alone.
last night i went out for dinner with my parents to palios pizza. a local flavor here in the flowerplex that i would suggest you try if you haven't yet. then my parents split for a night of dancing and went home. i watched the movie thirteen, which i thought was very good, then i spent the rest of the night on my back porch reading next to the chimenea with the rain falling through the trees. very relaxing i must say.
today i have to paint the "barn" in our back yard and then it's off to see the greatness of the david crowder band down in dallas tonight.
last night i went out for dinner with my parents to palios pizza. a local flavor here in the flowerplex that i would suggest you try if you haven't yet. then my parents split for a night of dancing and went home. i watched the movie thirteen, which i thought was very good, then i spent the rest of the night on my back porch reading next to the chimenea with the rain falling through the trees. very relaxing i must say.
today i have to paint the "barn" in our back yard and then it's off to see the greatness of the david crowder band down in dallas tonight.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
on the road again...
right now i am milking a post-coffee/caffeine headache, the atmosphere in the classroom is hot and sticky and my right eye keeps twitching. i'm writing just to stay awake. seems i've been lacking the much needed energy to get through the day lately. but on a more positive note i did happen to score a really good parking spot on campus not once, but twice despite all the congestion caused by the job fair DBU is hosting today. i also had a really good drive to school. i listened to some old school jimmy eat world and death cab for cutie and i had some nice reflection time. today i realized that i have to make that forty minute drive to and from school whether i like it or not and it's up to me to make the best of it. most people try to tell me that my commute sucks but it really doesn't. it gives me at least eighty minutes a day to think, pray, and sing when nobody else can hear me.
right now i am milking a post-coffee/caffeine headache, the atmosphere in the classroom is hot and sticky and my right eye keeps twitching. i'm writing just to stay awake. seems i've been lacking the much needed energy to get through the day lately. but on a more positive note i did happen to score a really good parking spot on campus not once, but twice despite all the congestion caused by the job fair DBU is hosting today. i also had a really good drive to school. i listened to some old school jimmy eat world and death cab for cutie and i had some nice reflection time. today i realized that i have to make that forty minute drive to and from school whether i like it or not and it's up to me to make the best of it. most people try to tell me that my commute sucks but it really doesn't. it gives me at least eighty minutes a day to think, pray, and sing when nobody else can hear me.
cellphones: roadside help, hazard...
this really isn't going to be some profound thought. that was never the intention. just an observation i made during my trek to school this morning. i was sitting at an intersection in town. in the lane directly opposite from me a man appeared to be having some trouble with his car. the car was stopped in the middle of the lane, hazard lights off, and the owner of the vehicle was pacing around the car while chatting on his cellphone. meanwhile traffic continued to make its way around this new obstacle. while this man's use of the cellphone was probably securing aid to his troubled car, it also brought him within inches of becoming someone's hood ornament. oblivious to the ongoing traffic, this preoccupied man paced in and out of turning lanes and traffic as he moved around his car. i watched from across the intesection as this unfortunate event came closer to becoming more unfortunate as cars dodged the immobile car and then the distracted cellphone-yaking man.
so that's what i got so far. i'm heading to class now. and remember that when you're chatting on your cellphone there is a world spinning on around you. try to step out of the mess for a second. i just don't think cars and cellphones mix very well, whatever the case may be.
ok, i gotta go.
this really isn't going to be some profound thought. that was never the intention. just an observation i made during my trek to school this morning. i was sitting at an intersection in town. in the lane directly opposite from me a man appeared to be having some trouble with his car. the car was stopped in the middle of the lane, hazard lights off, and the owner of the vehicle was pacing around the car while chatting on his cellphone. meanwhile traffic continued to make its way around this new obstacle. while this man's use of the cellphone was probably securing aid to his troubled car, it also brought him within inches of becoming someone's hood ornament. oblivious to the ongoing traffic, this preoccupied man paced in and out of turning lanes and traffic as he moved around his car. i watched from across the intesection as this unfortunate event came closer to becoming more unfortunate as cars dodged the immobile car and then the distracted cellphone-yaking man.
so that's what i got so far. i'm heading to class now. and remember that when you're chatting on your cellphone there is a world spinning on around you. try to step out of the mess for a second. i just don't think cars and cellphones mix very well, whatever the case may be.
ok, i gotta go.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Friday, October 15, 2004
under the boardwalk...
this weather has been incredible these past few days. i've had the window open and the a/c off. last night the wind blowing through the trees sounded like waves breaking along the coastline. it reminded me of times spent up in strathmere new jersey at my grandparents beach house. i really love spending summers up there, but it's been a while since i've paid a visit to the southern coast of the garden state. my family would spend anywhere from one to three weeks at the beach house every other summer. each day would involve waking up around nine, eating a hearty breakfast consisting of fruit (grandma always made us eat fruit) followed by as much crumb cake we could get away with. then we would pack a lunch, gather up the boogie boards and beach chairs and walk across the street to the beach. we would spend hours swallowing surf, collecting shells, creating castles only to watch the tide slowly destroy them. sometimes the best part was trying to drive off the relentless waves with a giant wall of sand. the waves would always win. we would usually wrap up the day at the beach around four or five in order to get ready for the evening events which would include a "friendly" round of putt-putt golf or an off broadway show in atlantic city, or maybe just an ice cream run followed by people-watching on the boardwalk in ocean city. i love the boardwalk in ocean city. the sound of the ocean washing up underneath the wooden planks, the smell of fudge and carmel popcorn. people everywhere. carnival rides and annoying seagulls. it's such a fun way to end the day. to me one of the best feelings in the world is the feeling you get from spending the day at the beach. your hair is wind blown and salty, feet callous and dry, back and shoulders are burned, and your tired. the shower feels great afterwards and dinner is even better. i remember one time laying in bed and i could still feel my body rising and falling with the tide. then i would fall asleep only to do it all over again the next day.
so my grandparents have a beach house in the garden state that can sleep eight. road trip anyone? the sign ups begin today.
this weather has been incredible these past few days. i've had the window open and the a/c off. last night the wind blowing through the trees sounded like waves breaking along the coastline. it reminded me of times spent up in strathmere new jersey at my grandparents beach house. i really love spending summers up there, but it's been a while since i've paid a visit to the southern coast of the garden state. my family would spend anywhere from one to three weeks at the beach house every other summer. each day would involve waking up around nine, eating a hearty breakfast consisting of fruit (grandma always made us eat fruit) followed by as much crumb cake we could get away with. then we would pack a lunch, gather up the boogie boards and beach chairs and walk across the street to the beach. we would spend hours swallowing surf, collecting shells, creating castles only to watch the tide slowly destroy them. sometimes the best part was trying to drive off the relentless waves with a giant wall of sand. the waves would always win. we would usually wrap up the day at the beach around four or five in order to get ready for the evening events which would include a "friendly" round of putt-putt golf or an off broadway show in atlantic city, or maybe just an ice cream run followed by people-watching on the boardwalk in ocean city. i love the boardwalk in ocean city. the sound of the ocean washing up underneath the wooden planks, the smell of fudge and carmel popcorn. people everywhere. carnival rides and annoying seagulls. it's such a fun way to end the day. to me one of the best feelings in the world is the feeling you get from spending the day at the beach. your hair is wind blown and salty, feet callous and dry, back and shoulders are burned, and your tired. the shower feels great afterwards and dinner is even better. i remember one time laying in bed and i could still feel my body rising and falling with the tide. then i would fall asleep only to do it all over again the next day.
so my grandparents have a beach house in the garden state that can sleep eight. road trip anyone? the sign ups begin today.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
meant to live...
for those of you who know me you would know that i am a pretty serious switchfoot fan. i love those guys. i think if i could be in anyone else's shoes it would be theirs. surf-rockers from southern california. i mean...come on! anyway, i popped in their newest album today just so i could listen to the ever so popular rock ballad meant to live. i felt it was quite appropriate for the moment. some people might think of me as being cynical, maybe judgmental, others may consider me malcontent. but whatever the case may be i can't help looking at life with the mindset that we are created to live for so much more than what we settle for. so much more than what society hands us. this afternoon i played the song over and over again while singing at the top of my lungs. sometimes i feel like we burn away long hours in the day just to meet the status quo but never truly begin to live. if you think i am cynic please be patient with me. i don't have the answers cause i'm still learning how to breathe in these abundant skies.
by the way, switchfoot will be in concert down in austin on november 13th i believe. anyone up for a road trip?
for those of you who know me you would know that i am a pretty serious switchfoot fan. i love those guys. i think if i could be in anyone else's shoes it would be theirs. surf-rockers from southern california. i mean...come on! anyway, i popped in their newest album today just so i could listen to the ever so popular rock ballad meant to live. i felt it was quite appropriate for the moment. some people might think of me as being cynical, maybe judgmental, others may consider me malcontent. but whatever the case may be i can't help looking at life with the mindset that we are created to live for so much more than what we settle for. so much more than what society hands us. this afternoon i played the song over and over again while singing at the top of my lungs. sometimes i feel like we burn away long hours in the day just to meet the status quo but never truly begin to live. if you think i am cynic please be patient with me. i don't have the answers cause i'm still learning how to breathe in these abundant skies.
by the way, switchfoot will be in concert down in austin on november 13th i believe. anyone up for a road trip?
Monday, October 11, 2004
Jesus wept...
i pulled out my gray slacks from the closet and attempted to put them on. no amount of inhaling or sucking in of the stomach could get these pants around my waist. it has been a long time since i put on some nice clothes and with the selection in my closet it showed. i settled for the black pin-stripes i got from target and a dark green shirt. today i am going to my first funeral. a long time friend of the family died last friday from a sudden heart attack. right now i need to back track for a second as best as i can so that all this will make a little more sense.
my parents came to the great state of texas back in '77 or '78. my dad took a job with Texas Instrument after graduating college and with his new bride left family and friends in new jersey to pursue a new chapter in their life down in richardson, tx. in what i have understood to be a stormy season in their life God brought to them a wonderful couple haling from the chicago area in pursuit of a professional golf career down in dallas. the schindlers entered into my parents life and shortly there after Jesus enter also. a bible study formed which would include others but most importantly for this particular blog would include the brown family. kim and mary brown, bob and beth schindler, and my parents seem to have formed an incredible bond which was so evident this past week during the funeral events. i know that the first year or two before my birth and at least the first five years of my life my parents had a close friendship with these people i think mostly due to the fact that both the browns and my parents where now exploring the world in light of their new birth as christians. i can only draw from stories i have heard and very vague memories but i think this was a very exciting time for all of them. as time went by, more kids were born and families moved further apart, it became harder and harder to keep a close connection.
so when the news came to me saturday morning that kim brown had died that friday my heart sank. in one weekend a monsoon of memories separated by almost two decades came flooding back to my parents. a friendship that was mostly kept together by Christmas cards was now bittersweetly revived and reunited. the schindlers flew in from north carolina and stayed at our house for the weekend. the funeral would be held on tuesday.
what happened the next few days seemed too much like a movie. i felt as if i should have had a camera to capture the dialogue that transpired. a death in the family brings these couples back together and the importance of having and maintaining an unmasked, raw, honest, and caring friendship is realized. the schinlders entered back into our lives as if they had never been gone. even though it had been years since we had last seen them catching up with them didn't take long. there was something about this relationship that seemed so real, so authentic. as i sat in the back of the car and listened to my mom and "aunt" beth talk back and forth while we drove to the funeral i heard my mom commuicate in a way i am not sure i have heard her communicate with anyone else before. it's so hard to explain but there was a beautiful bond there. the same could be said with the browns. althought i wasn't around as much as my mom was that weekend i will never forget the exchange of words and the heartfelt expressions that occurred when we left the funeral reception at the brown's house. as we said goodbye, beth, mary, and mom stood around each other and confessed how much they wished they kept in better touch and how much each of our families have paralleled the other.
i realize more and more now that an authentic relationship with someone takes much effort to pursue. it takes honesty and a willingness to ask the hard questions that dig deep into someones life. it takes time. it's takes sacrifice. it takes love. it takes going out of your way and hanging up your desires for a moment to share in someone elses. at first glance it can seem hard but what i saw this weekend made it worth the pursuit. i am so thankful for what i got to see a glimpse of this weekend. i pray for mary brown, her two sons matt and jeffery and her daughter heather that they will find comfort and understanding in all of this. i know kim brown is now in heaven. the funeral was nice. i can't imagine what would be going through a non-christian's mind while sitting in a funeral. seems like it would be a pretty depressing experience.
which brings me to my next thought about last weeks events. during the drive back to my house after all the funeral events, my godfather, psuedo-uncle, and friend bob schindler and i discussed funeral events and how christians should view them. in my immaturity i told him that i want my funeral to be more like a celebration. a party more or less. no need to be sad. bob them began to talk about one of his favorite passages found in the book of john, chapter 11 which talks about Jesus raising lazarus from the dead. although Christ knew that Lazarus would "awaken" again, when he saw the jewish people gathering around the tomb weeping he was deeply moved and in the sortest verse in the bible verse 35 says, "Jesus wept." it seems that there is a time for mourning. that there is a time to be sad. kim brown will be missed and my heart weeps with the family but i rejoice knowing that he is in fellowship now with our creator and heavenly father.
i pulled out my gray slacks from the closet and attempted to put them on. no amount of inhaling or sucking in of the stomach could get these pants around my waist. it has been a long time since i put on some nice clothes and with the selection in my closet it showed. i settled for the black pin-stripes i got from target and a dark green shirt. today i am going to my first funeral. a long time friend of the family died last friday from a sudden heart attack. right now i need to back track for a second as best as i can so that all this will make a little more sense.
my parents came to the great state of texas back in '77 or '78. my dad took a job with Texas Instrument after graduating college and with his new bride left family and friends in new jersey to pursue a new chapter in their life down in richardson, tx. in what i have understood to be a stormy season in their life God brought to them a wonderful couple haling from the chicago area in pursuit of a professional golf career down in dallas. the schindlers entered into my parents life and shortly there after Jesus enter also. a bible study formed which would include others but most importantly for this particular blog would include the brown family. kim and mary brown, bob and beth schindler, and my parents seem to have formed an incredible bond which was so evident this past week during the funeral events. i know that the first year or two before my birth and at least the first five years of my life my parents had a close friendship with these people i think mostly due to the fact that both the browns and my parents where now exploring the world in light of their new birth as christians. i can only draw from stories i have heard and very vague memories but i think this was a very exciting time for all of them. as time went by, more kids were born and families moved further apart, it became harder and harder to keep a close connection.
so when the news came to me saturday morning that kim brown had died that friday my heart sank. in one weekend a monsoon of memories separated by almost two decades came flooding back to my parents. a friendship that was mostly kept together by Christmas cards was now bittersweetly revived and reunited. the schindlers flew in from north carolina and stayed at our house for the weekend. the funeral would be held on tuesday.
what happened the next few days seemed too much like a movie. i felt as if i should have had a camera to capture the dialogue that transpired. a death in the family brings these couples back together and the importance of having and maintaining an unmasked, raw, honest, and caring friendship is realized. the schinlders entered back into our lives as if they had never been gone. even though it had been years since we had last seen them catching up with them didn't take long. there was something about this relationship that seemed so real, so authentic. as i sat in the back of the car and listened to my mom and "aunt" beth talk back and forth while we drove to the funeral i heard my mom commuicate in a way i am not sure i have heard her communicate with anyone else before. it's so hard to explain but there was a beautiful bond there. the same could be said with the browns. althought i wasn't around as much as my mom was that weekend i will never forget the exchange of words and the heartfelt expressions that occurred when we left the funeral reception at the brown's house. as we said goodbye, beth, mary, and mom stood around each other and confessed how much they wished they kept in better touch and how much each of our families have paralleled the other.
i realize more and more now that an authentic relationship with someone takes much effort to pursue. it takes honesty and a willingness to ask the hard questions that dig deep into someones life. it takes time. it's takes sacrifice. it takes love. it takes going out of your way and hanging up your desires for a moment to share in someone elses. at first glance it can seem hard but what i saw this weekend made it worth the pursuit. i am so thankful for what i got to see a glimpse of this weekend. i pray for mary brown, her two sons matt and jeffery and her daughter heather that they will find comfort and understanding in all of this. i know kim brown is now in heaven. the funeral was nice. i can't imagine what would be going through a non-christian's mind while sitting in a funeral. seems like it would be a pretty depressing experience.
which brings me to my next thought about last weeks events. during the drive back to my house after all the funeral events, my godfather, psuedo-uncle, and friend bob schindler and i discussed funeral events and how christians should view them. in my immaturity i told him that i want my funeral to be more like a celebration. a party more or less. no need to be sad. bob them began to talk about one of his favorite passages found in the book of john, chapter 11 which talks about Jesus raising lazarus from the dead. although Christ knew that Lazarus would "awaken" again, when he saw the jewish people gathering around the tomb weeping he was deeply moved and in the sortest verse in the bible verse 35 says, "Jesus wept." it seems that there is a time for mourning. that there is a time to be sad. kim brown will be missed and my heart weeps with the family but i rejoice knowing that he is in fellowship now with our creator and heavenly father.
Monday, October 04, 2004
to all the Christians who are voting for bush because you are a Christian...
GET OVER IT!!!!
to all the Christians who feel pressured by other Christians to vote for bush because you are Christian...
GET OVER IT!!!
you guys are all lame. God is not a republican or a democrat. be the change you want to see and stop using God as a political agenda. i don't think our country is going to be any more "blessed" with either one of those dudes running it. if anything vote for pedro sanchez. he offers you his protection.
GET OVER IT!!!!
to all the Christians who feel pressured by other Christians to vote for bush because you are Christian...
GET OVER IT!!!
you guys are all lame. God is not a republican or a democrat. be the change you want to see and stop using God as a political agenda. i don't think our country is going to be any more "blessed" with either one of those dudes running it. if anything vote for pedro sanchez. he offers you his protection.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
it's a sweater!
today is my dad's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! for dinner we went to this place called babes in roanoke. they serve two dishes and two dishes only. chicken fried chicken and chicken fried steak. the food was great. we also got all the biscuits and gravy, mashed potatoes and corn we could eat. It was definitely worth the hour and fifteen minute wait. people brought lawn chairs and coolers full of beer and just hung out while they waited for their table. it was kind of fun. the weather was great and i had a wonderful time sitting outside talking with my parents while we waited for our table.
i bought a chimenea today for my dad's birthday. i think it will compliment our back porch nicely. i can't wait to use it.
the show last night in dallas was great. ethan durrelle's performance was too short but they sounded amazing. cool hand luke was good. it has been a long time since i have been to a concert that the band took a minute to talk about their faith. it was actually kind of cool. and this other band called stella...something, i forgot what they were called, was really good.
today is my dad's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! for dinner we went to this place called babes in roanoke. they serve two dishes and two dishes only. chicken fried chicken and chicken fried steak. the food was great. we also got all the biscuits and gravy, mashed potatoes and corn we could eat. It was definitely worth the hour and fifteen minute wait. people brought lawn chairs and coolers full of beer and just hung out while they waited for their table. it was kind of fun. the weather was great and i had a wonderful time sitting outside talking with my parents while we waited for our table.
i bought a chimenea today for my dad's birthday. i think it will compliment our back porch nicely. i can't wait to use it.
the show last night in dallas was great. ethan durrelle's performance was too short but they sounded amazing. cool hand luke was good. it has been a long time since i have been to a concert that the band took a minute to talk about their faith. it was actually kind of cool. and this other band called stella...something, i forgot what they were called, was really good.
Friday, October 01, 2004
and again, i still can't figure it out...
so today i was late to class. not too late but i had a test today so you never want to be even a few seconds late for that. things just started popping up. i had to gas up, i had to get a scantron, i needed to print out my essay which was part of the test today. i needed to drive thirty five miles to school. a thirty five mile commute i am beginning to loathe. i spend around 450 minutes a week driving to and from school. that really adds up and today was one of those days that i could have counted on both hands the number of things i would rather be doing then driving to school. i practically live out of my car. i really need to work my schedule out so i don't have to go down there every day. i am feeling a bit thin these days. i drive to dallas and i hit the ground running with school. i drive home and i hit the ground running with work at the church, maybe family time and unfortunately my school work has followed me home too. i'm so glad fall break is next week. i need to figure all this out.
well i am kickin this break off by seeing ethan durelle down in dallas. should be a great show.
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