Monday, February 13, 2012

Chasing Donald Miller

or how I am learning to live a better story...

Back in 2003 I read a book entitled Blue Like Jazz which was impossible to put down, and seemed to put to words my scattered thoughts on spirituality and christianity. It resonated with many people and helped create a certain vocabulary for a generation struggling to identify with their predecessors beliefs. I was on board. Soon afterward I picked up another book by the same author entitled Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance which has since been re-released under the new title Through Painted Deserts. Donald Miller tells the story of his road trip from Texas to Oregon with a friend and a VW van. A year later his story would be my wife and I's story as we packed up our Honda Element with all that we owned, departed Dallas, and drove to Portland via the Grand Canyon and California. Although I didn't reflect on the Book of Ecclesiastes like Donald did, I do remember sharing in his experience while standing at the edge of the canyon or driving the long, endless stretch of highway through the desert. I tried to picture what the highway would have been like for those traveling the old route 66. Despite much of the modern development along the road I still found time to feel like I was a pioneer.

We've been in Portland for over 4 years now. We have a great community, friends, and church. We are loving the accessibility and affordability of this city, along with being within hours of the coast or mountains. We've felt like we have been on an endless vacation.

But lately that feeling has been fading as I've been reflecting on the past 4 years we have spent in Portland. I've been struggling with the thoughts that my life here has not had much meaning or purpose. Not in a suicidal sort of way, but in a way that has not had much of a positive impact on those around me. Sure I've gotten to do some amazing things like commercial salmon fishing in Alaska or finish a second degree. I think I've just been so focused on building something for myself that I haven't spent much time looking at the need around me. I've really struggled lately to see God in my daily life. I feel right now like I am striving for something but I'm not sure what. Just taking life as it comes to me. Floating.

I just finished Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and now find myself challenged to live a better story. He once again put to words what I currently find myself mentally wrestling with. I am encouraged to identify what it is I want to do and overcome obstacles to get there. To reflect on what would make a better story if I were ever asked to retell it. I am inspired and motivated to not simply take life as it comes to me, but to intentionally make daily decisions that bring life. Thank you Don for your words and transparency. I appreciate you.