substance and motives revealed...

sorry shock-jocks but there wont be much to talk about around the water cooler today. despite the best efforts of the week long preshow and the encouragement by dave chappelle, MTV's VMA show that aired last night proceeded just as "planned". or rather not as planned. for some, last night was a chance again to glorify controversy. a chance to expose a boob. a chance for two girls to kiss. but instead musicians performed, awards were handed out, and people danced. i hope this doesn't hurt the ratings.

i think it's sad that probably the majority of the people there could care less about the artistic interpretation of a video or its cinematography. it's become such a who's who's, roll out the red carpet event. it's shallow and gaudy and i'm glad i didn't spend anymore time on it then i did. in the words of the great male-model hansel, "award shows are bogus." however i am glad that a station that influences so many teens encouraged the need to vote. they even made it seem like something fun to do. if only the church pushed political responsibility more.

in closing, thank God for polyphonic spree.

today while driving home from school i noticed on the back windshield of this guys car a sticker of a clenched hand with the middle finger standing straight up. i really wanted to flip this guy off just to see his reaction but i didn't. however if i do see him again i will give him the bird. maybe even an inverted double bird with a mctwist. hey if that's the agenda he's gonna push i guess i could give him a little support.

well i am now four days into the fall semester of school and i am already a little behind in one of my classes. but in my defense my professor has conjured up a work load that one could solely focus on and be busy with the entire year. ironically it happens to be my spiritual formation class. something about daily work and spiritual formation seem to go together.

today at school i parked next to a lamborghini. then i stood next to the lamborghini for a few and asked people as they passed by if they liked my new ride. lame i know but i don't have any skills. chicks dig guys with skills.

oh, did i mention that this is a dbu student's lamborghini?

saw collateral the other night. kind of a cool flick if you look at the relational side of it. how tom cruise's character affects jamie foxx's. good movie for discussion but i would wait to rent it.

i think i am going to take my electric guitar to the shop tomorrow and get it a tune up. after my amp was stolen two years ago the guitar has just been a dust collector. to long has the sword sat in the stone. it is time. it is time.

the other night after our houston trip "report back to the people" i shook hands with my new boss brent. with much enthusiasms and excitement i accepted a job to work with the high school student ministry at crossroads bible church. honestly i am sad that i will have to leave starbucks but i'm pretty sure the direction i am heading now is something i would much rather do the rest of my life. only three months into it and i was already tired of making frappuccinos.

the thought that i'll now be working for a church i have been apart of for so long hasn't quite sunk in yet so i'll be chalking all this up as "it's funny how things have worked out".

well i am off to school today. as much as i have been anticipating this day i have to say that i am not quite in school mode yet. i still have somewhat of this careless, no-agenda mindset that will probably only be broken by the first quiz or test. but i do hope i snap back into it sooner just to avoid a low grade or two.

i bought a bottle of wine at the world market today and the guy at the counter didn't card me. well i am glad that i do look over 21 but man help a brother out cuz i am still trying to qualify for the the "we card under 30" gig. do i really look that old?

going to waco tonight to watch becca play a "friendly" soccer match against baylor.

for the first hour of my shift at starbucks i had to pass out sandwich samples. watch out subway cause we're making lunch.

i've been trying to make up different ways to slam espresso shots at work. may favorite so far is a shot with a pump of white mocha syrup and a little heavy whipping cream.

the new wes anderson moview called the life aquatic comes out in december. about freakin time.

i'm sure some time down the road i'll be eating my own words...

-therefore i urge you, brethren by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
Romans 12:1

as a worship leader for the youth at my church i have to say that i wrestle with trying to understand the concept of worship. when i re-entered life in the DFW area back in august of last year i had some grand plans to revamp the worship at my church. especially with the youth. when i was out in lubbock i was privileged to experience great worship led by musicians such as shane barnard, david crowder or robbie seay. every once in a while the passion tour would roll through bringing in chris tomlin and speaker louis giglio(sp?) . lubbock was spilling over with praise bands each one with decent talent. you could literally go to a worship gathering every night of the week. my friends and i chose to go to one that got together every tuesday night for about an hour and a half. it was mostly singing. maybe some prayer. maybe some scripture reading. but mostly singing. my first two year of school i remember thinking, "this is it, this is real worship." the songs are so good and the band plays long enough to allow you to "enter in." i think i tried to remind myself that worship can manifest itself in many different forms but there was something about singing that made that spiritual buzz so much more evident and even tangible.

two years of this would go by of hopping from worship gathering to worship gathering. some even took place in my roommates and my house. singing and praying all night. we were so spiritual. but something began to rub me wrong. something didn't click. in the middle of singing on a tuesday night i would find myself getting frustrate with all the singing. sometimes it was even annoying to listen to. i wanted to much rather spend time talking with the kids skate boarding in the parking lot outside. i wanted to spend time at a bar talking with a stranger. i wanted to be away from my christian friends just for a little bit. i wanted to be salt and light. i wanted to stop doing the "church thing".

over the years i have realized how easy it can sometimes be to get into a self-seeking frame of mind. to view my relationship with God as nothing more but a "thank you for saving me!" you have done such great things for me. and to continually reaffirm that through singing until i feel that i thanked him enough.

i recently went to mardel christian store to find some worships cds not only for myself but for the youth at my church. i remember returning to church after my trek to the store empty handed and telling my youth pastor that this so called modern worship movement is just plain cheesy. some of these song lyrics where so silly.

i just got back from a mission trip to houston last week which was probably one of the most incredible experiences i've gotten to be apart of. to me this trip seemed more like Romans 12:1 than anything else i have ever done. no amount of singing could compare with what we did in a week.

so i find myself constantly asking the question, "why do we sing?" and as i head back in to this fall semester i am still not sure about the answer. i don't want to provide that spiritual buzz for the youth that i so quickly jumped on my first couple years in college. more than anything i want these kids to understand that they are loved by God and that a relationship with Him is necessary. i want these kids to serve others before they serve themselves. and not because the church tells them to but because they understand that all have fallen short and that there is a desperate need for the world to know God.

i think there are several thoughts aggressively colliding here so my typing seems a bit dis-jointed. i think i need to stop for now.

try not to touch my sister's butt at her wedding because this might happen. well probably not but you will be pistol-whipped.

so i am sitting here playing on this nice taylor guitar and kind of regretting the fact that i gave it to my sister. the guitar was given to me while i was working at a camp in new mexico last summer by one of the church groups that attended. after worship one night a counselor from the group came up to me and said that he really felt like God wanted him to give me his guitar. i was really blown away by that statement and not really sure how to handle the situation. i mean, it was either tell him i didn't think God told him that or say thank you. i decided to say thank you and a week later this guitar arrived at camp.

since i already have a pretty nice acoustic guitar i decide to let pam take it to school with her because she really wanted to learn how to play. now pam is off somewhere and the guitar is sitting alone in her room. isn't there a saying that things always look better when it's not yours? well this guitar all of the sudden sounds pretty nice. and its small too. maybe she won't notice if i stuff her gig bag with newspaper.