random thoughts and moments...

today I got my first flat tire while riding my bike home from school. i'm actually pretty surprised i went as long as I have. I've had the bike since march of this year, but i've logged some pretty serious mileage since. not sure if i am going to try and patch it tonight or just take the car to school tomorrow.

have you ever given someone advice and in the moment realized that you should probably be doing the same thing. a friend of mine is trying to make it as an artist writing/drawing comics. he wasn't sure how to get started and i suggested to him that he might consider finding someone who is doing what he wants to do. then just start bugging them. ask them questions. see if they have any advice for him. and as i'm talking through this with him i'm realizing that i should be doing the same thing.

last night as we where getting ready for bed mish commented that this will be our second to last night sleeping here. its funny. i wasn't sad at all. as i was lying there i had this feeling that i had already moved on from this place. almost as if i really haven't been sleeping here the last few days. it felt weird. like i'm in between places. it was difficult when we received the news that our rent would be increasing and we'd have to move. we really loved the place we were living. but we are excited about the move. it will be good.

i got to hang with my friend/youth pastor/mentor/boss/friend brent this past week. it was wonderful getting to chat and catch up. its pretty cool seeing how the relationship has evolved over time. how many different roles he has played in my life. i'm pretty sure he is playing the amazing friend role right now. and i'm ok if it stays that way.

Last night began with a bowl of broccoli cheese soup.
But ended with a bowl of Massaman Curry from Authentic Thai Bistro.
What happened in between still haunts my thoughts. And my stomach.
Those with an iron gut keep reading.

I planted some broccoli this year in our garden. I'm still much of a novice when it comes to backyard urban farming. The finished products we buy in the grocery store look so different than the dramatic vegetation that takes place from seed to harvest. I've seen tomato plants grow or even bells peppers. But Brussels sprouts? It was all very exciting.

So back to the broccoli. I'm not the biggest fan but if you cover it with enough cheese its not too bad. So when the flowers looked about right for harvesting I cut them from the stem, washed them, and put them in the refrigerator. A day or two later Mish and I chopped up the green florets and tossed them into the pot to make a nice broccoli cheese soup. After a few tweaks to the recipe I put the lid on it and we brought it over to our friends Reid and Eike's house to enjoy together. Midway through dinner Eike lowers her head to her bowl and meticulously scoops something out of the bowl. Mish asks if it was a hair. "No, just a little bug. No big deal." That was until we all took a closer look at what we where eating. What we all thought where just bits of broccoli upon closer examination turned out to be tons of little bugs peppering our soup. Reid and I both had pretty much eaten an entire bowl by that time. "Did you wash the broccoli?" "Of course I did. I washed it well." I guess thats what you run into when you try to garden organically. Needless to say, we didn't finish our soup and promptly called our favorite neighborhood thai place. We all had a good laugh about it. Lots of bug jokes ensued.

One would think that with an experience like that one would be a little gun-shy when it comes to eating food thats not shiny and void of blemishes. But I'm happy to report I've rebounded pretty well. This morning I made myself an egg scrambler with sauteed chanterelle mushrooms gathered from a mountain just outside city limits. I'm not going to let a little "bug-ccoli" cheese soup slow me down.

I'm still buzzing from this...

If you hear from someone that they didn't think the Sufjan concert was very good its probably because they only wanted to hear him play "Chicago". Which I have to admit, I was a little nervous before going to see him this past Friday. Sufjan's last few albums have all had a similar style of music which the masses, including myself, are probably most familiar with. His newest album, The Age of Adz, is a significant divergence stylistically from his previous records. The 30 second clips I listened to online were a little hard to warm up to. Mish and I had been wanting to see Sufjan in concert for years so I had really built up the show. I was nervous because I was afraid I wasn't going to like his new stuff, and walk away disappointed because he might not play any of the songs I know. Well, he didn't disappoint. I was blown away by it all.

That was Friday night.

The rest of the weekend looked something like this...

Dinner: Butternut Squash (from my backyard) pizza with pine nuts, onions and cheddar cheese.

Evenings spent crunching to get my midterms finished up.

Last minute Halloween costume I threw together when I found out on Saturday my boss wanted us to dress up at work. Can you guess what I am?

I've been noticing that some people like to press the handicap button that will automatically open a door for you while they pass through. Why is this? I can't seem to figure it out. From what I can gather waiting on the door to open slows you down. So its not for quicker access. Is it germs? You still have to touch that button. Which from what I've seen gets touched a lot. I'm not sure I get it. Why do people who don't have a handicap of some sort feel the need to press that button?

The other day i sat down to do some sketching. And instead of grabbing a pencil and eraser i grabbed my laptop. I've been using google sketch up. I'm in the process of taking an existing detached garage and transforming it into a studio apartment. or at least thats the plan. sketch up is this amazing (and amazingly free) tool that allows you to draw and render in 3D. its really user friendly and the renderings are nice. Though I've been feeling this weird tension lately. a push and pull between wanting to hand draw something or do it up on the computer. using the computer seems to be the way things are going. but i think people will always appreciate a nice hand drawn sketch.

I recently chatted with an older couple at the coffee shop about their recent trip to Port Angeles, Washington. I've only passed through there once on my way to Victoria, British Columbia via a ferry but what little I did see looked nice. The coupled mentioned that tourism has increased a lot recently thanks to the Twilight series. So much so that people are heading up into the nearby Olympia National Park to hunt vampires.

So my question is:

Do you need a license to hunt vampires?

the big chill...

a while back i met someone who when i asked how they where said they had been suffering from a chill for the last several years. thats right, they said years. at the time i didn't quite understand what they meant. i thought a chill typically lasted only minutes to maybe a couple hours. but over several years? not likely.

but the last day of august turned out to be a cold and wet bike ride home from downtown. much like the cold and wet bike rides i braved during the winter months. it was then that i began to understand what that guy was suffering from. with the extra long winter this year, plus fishing in alaska, i just can't seem to thaw out. we've had a few warm days but i could really use a few more. i need to shake this chill.

the art of spontaneity...

this friday mish had plans. i didn't. it was now wednesday night. what to do? in a desperation induced brainstorm i came up with what i end up calling the "Three B's". That is: Beer, Bratwurst, and Bottle Rocket (the movie). it will be a guys night. I send an email out because I am too young to use the phone and too old for text messages. everyone responds back. only two of my friends are able to make it with such short notice.

much of the cool summer night was spent on the front porch chatting around a still warm grill with corn husks bending out from underneath the lid. it was very relaxing. very simple. very spontaneous. we all enjoyed each others company. the brats turned out better than I expected. The wheat beer sweetened things up. when the night was wrapping up we all agreed that it is getting harder and harder to be spontaneous as we get older. much of our lives throughout the week are already planned. pretty much all of my weekends in September are already spoken for. crazy.

tonight we all decided that despite are busy lives we should still try for the spontaneous.

love this...

la blogotheque

here are some of my favorite videos so far.

Phoenix - Lizstomania / One time too many - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Sigur Ros - Við spilum endalaust - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

#62.3 - Menomena - Wet and Rusting
Uploaded by lablogotheque. - Discover more animation and arts videos.

when it sinks in...

waiting at the crosswalk for the light to change. i'm enveloped by a hot breeze mixed with the smell of exhaust as cars and city buses pass by. chirp, chirp, chirp. the pedestrian signal indicates that it is my turn to cross the street. around the corner and up the brick steps. a sheep dog with two different colored eyes waits patiently outside the door for its owner to return. "hey fella!" i pass through the awkwardly large double doors. the busyness inside is distracting but i make my way to the back of the building where the book drop is located. people looking for jobs on the internet. homeless men reading the newspaper. hipsters perusing the foreign film section. i quickly check the magazine section, then the cooking section, and then with unrealistic ambition i check to see if there are any books on woodworking. "when am i going to have time for that?"

its always the same. except for today. today it feels different. whenever i go to the library i scan the room. searching for a familiar face. a face i know takes advantage of the library much better than i. but today i realized walking into that space that i don't need to search anymore. that face won't be there. not at the computers or in the back corner thumbing through CDs. today it sunk in a little more that my brother-in-law jay no longer lives in portland. today i miss him.

time...

these days my life feels very segmented. i've been taking it 2 to 3 months at a time. mostly school dictates this which is on a quarter system. each term brings a new set of classes. a new schedule to juggle. which includes my job. finding quality time with my wife. i go commercial salmon fishing during the summer which adds another segment to my life.

so my year breaks down into groups of months. those break down as well. all the way down to days. its kind of sad but i am thankful for the longer days with more sunlight. I feel like I can get more done. I've been trying to make 7 AM a habitual time to wake up. my wife might not be too excited about this. but i feel like its time for me to make the most of each day. to cram as much in as possible. i've kept a planner for a few years now. but lately i feel like i've had to be more realistic about what I can accomplish each day. i can't be like, maybe today i'll work out and do yard work. no. everything has an allotted time slot and a realistic amount of time allotted. if its not realistic it will never get done. its a good habit for me to practice.

this weeks schedule:

Monday: Morning - homework - work on building codes project, ARCH 101 project at school.

Afternoon - read

Evening - make dinner (something out of jamie oliver's cook book, run with mish

Tuesday: Morning - homework - midterm

Afternoon - Work

Evening - bike ride to portland art museum and dinner at a food cart

Wednesday: Morning - read

Afternoon - Work, class

Evening - class

Thursday: Morning - Homework, catch up on reading, work out

Afternoon - Work

Evening - Work, run with mish

Friday: Morning - Class

Afternoon - Relax

Evening - dinner out, and Cirque du Solei

Saturday: Morning - open

Afternoon - Work

Evening - Work, run with mish

Sunday: Morning - maybe a bike ride with friends

Afternoon - maybe a bike ride with friends

Evening - church

not a bad week.

april felt like the longest month

but now i feel as if i won't be able to keep up with may.

the weather has been unpredictable.

i've been trying to start a vegetable garden.

but the rain has been coming down hard.

spring is such a mixed bag in portland.

the flowers and trees are all in bloom.

its beautiful. breathtaking.

but in any given 24 hour period you can be enjoying a book on the porch with the warmth of the sun on your face only to be driven inside by pounding rain and hail.

just wait ten minutes and you can get back out on the porch.

i honestly can't wait for summer.

i feel like i still have my winter coat on.

HEY! I AM ABOUT TO CHANGE MY DOMAIN FROM VICTIMOFSUBURBIA.BLOGSPOT.COM TO SKETCHESFROMWHEREVER.BLOGSPOT.COM

I'M JUST TIRED OF BEING THE VICTIM.

MAKE THE APPROPRIATE CHANGES IF YOU STILL WANT TO KEEP UP WITH MY BLOG. I HOPE YOU DO.

i'm like benjamin button in reverse...

today i dyed my hair. which isn't the first time i've altered my natural color. there was the one year in high school i peroxided my whole head before a spring break ski trip. this was the gateway drug to having highlighted tips for the next several years on into college. i went back to natural for a little bit and then had a short stint with blue streaks. now i find the cheapest box of black hair dye i can find. i don't know why i keep doing it. i joke that i do it to hide all the grays. maybe i secretly love the compliments. the polish lady who mends all my pants said that i must be european to have such dark hair.

i often wonder how much longer i might continue doing this. i keep waiting for something to switch in me. to tell me that i'm too old to be doing this. but that hasn't happened yet. the grays will just have to wait.

Those that say New York is the city that never sleeps have not been to Madrid.

Hello Madrid!!!

I have heard that you know you've got good compost when you can get the pile to steam. Well I am hoping for that. Just a little steam would be nice. Really I am just hoping that everything I throw into the bin breaks down into that fertile "black gold".

What excites me the most about this bin I made is that the only thing I had to buy was a box of wood strews. Everything else I found. I still need to put a lid on it though.

the front balcony i have been patiently waiting all winter to inhabit is now more inviting than ever.

a book i have been inching my way though is opened in front of me.

spiced tea is slowly cooling down in a blue ceramic mug given to me by my parents.

the helm of a ship is imprinted on it.

the sun is low but rising.

and i can feel its warmth on my back, but my fingers are still a little cold.

it reminds me of mornings it florida.

the cool nights melting away under the rising sun.

you can just tell its going to be a beautiful day.

have you ever heard someone say that god is not a vending machine? i have. several times. while i'm sure there are great benefits to teaching/preaching that sort of analogy i've noticed that sometimes when i pray i get a guilty feeling when i think i am asking too much. is it really possible to ask too much of god? i've started to wonder about this when i listen to my wife pray. she's pretty amazing by the way. you see, she believes that god cares about the little odd details of our lives. she believes he cares about getting a good grade on a test, getting a date, or scoring a goal in the big game just as much as helping people in haiti or freeing slaves in the sex trade. so when i am feeling like i am asking too much she is busy asking. and its beautiful. freeing. she has taught me that god does not grow weary of us or is limited in what he can accomplish. to her god is fully involved in our lives and is the one she can fully trust to accomplish anything. so she asks. like a simple conversation. she just asks. she knows in whom she believes so she asks. i love it. some days i feel like my prayers are so formulaic. first you adore, then confess, then thank, and then there's the supplication. in that order respectively. but with her there is no formula. it just a friendship. no analogy or acronym. she just talks with god. i want to do the same.

almost twenty years have passed but i still just can't help feeling proud of the new ride.


2010, age 28.


1991, age 10.

recently a building was completed and now stands as the tallest in the world. it's an impressive feat of engineering. i'm sure some praises are due. but with all the forethought and skill required to make something like this stand i've never really been impressed by this particular architecture. to build something tall for the sake of building something tall seems a bit arrogant and tacky. i wonder how this building addresses the environment? how does it address the community? a structure built on the backs of slaves by a country now in a tremendous amount of debt. i cannot seem to understand the appeal. the allure to this architectural culture.

but the other day something happened. something switched on. or off. i'm not sure yet. it felt almost like a chill running down my spine. it was subtle but it was enough to get my attention. it happened while i was downtown. i was noticing the city skyline. how suddenly uninteresting it appeared to me. the lack of impressive architecture. of tall architecture. i began to resent the thought that buildings have remained a certain height so the homes on the west hills could maintain their view of mount hood. for a moment i had an unfamiliar lust for the built form. like howard roark in the fountainhead. i wanted to see massive and impressive buildings. buildings that expressed both power, beauty, and progress. in a city noted for being so creative it sure wasn't represented in its architecture.

and then the chill left and i couldn't help but smile. i felt like i was beginning to understand why tall buildings are built.

tonights menu:

salmon burgers with brown sugar, dried chilies, and bacon
asparagus drizzled with a dijon vinaigrette
raison D'etre ale brewed by dogfish head

i'm pretty excited about this one because the only thing i had to buy to make this happen was the beer and asparagus.
there's pretty much a huge party in my mouth right now.

i'm a bachelor tonight.
mish is at the coast with some friends.
i'm happy for her.
i'm glad she gets to head out there for the night.
its just me and the har-man now.
so whats on the to do list:
wax snowboard
write thank you cards
stain wood frame for vegetable garden
fill out scholarship applications
make chicken curry dish (mish got me a jamie oliver cookbook that i've been stewing over now.
tonight i made a chicken korma curry dish. it was pretty tasty but not nearly as spicy as i was hoping it to be.)
laundry
clean house
drink a nice brew from hopworks brewery
watch some simpsons
wash the dishes in the sink.
maybe get to some homework if i have time.

i think that about covers it.

last night i was sitting in my building systems class listening to a lecture on foundations. you know stem walls and footings and things of that sort. and i started thinking about foundations in a more relational way. i started thinking about stability and about the things that foster or prevent it. and i began to think about how we so often chase after things that bring instability. that cause anxiousness or worry. my professor kept talking about certain issues builders run into during the initial building process. he said its hard to convince home owners to spend a little extra on soil test, structural engineers, etc. when people really just want the money to go towards kitchen counter tops or hardwood floors. then i thought about how this can sometimes be a reflection of our relationships with others. how most often we want to skip over the laborious part because it seems difficult or boring. i don't know. i think multiple thoughts are beginning to collide here and I want to avoid that. it just makes my heart heavy when we opt for things that bring instability.